I’m stronger when I’m alone, no distractions, no chatter. I’ve never needed others to accept or approve me. I’ve been alone all my life, nobody can understand and I can’t understand others. Some times for moments, for a blink of an eye I’ve connected with people, but only for moments. There are so few people like me around, that I’m wondering if I’m broken or special. Curiously, I’ve never felt alone, never needed friends, I’ve often felt more alone around other people than by myself. I always thought that everyone was happy, at least they seamed that way, and felt out-of-place, I didn’t need what they had, they didn’t have much… I always felt coldness around, but everyone so happy. By my sensitive nature I felt even the most subtle chance in everyone’s emotions, and that was very hard to process for a long time, maybe that’s why I was comfortable alone, I was calm. So now I’m on the prowl for the coldness, what is it, why so many people have it, why does it make me so bleak?

Advertisements