Why do we fight? why do we lose our humanity and become animals? this state of overwhelming power, of clenched fists, rage, that shadow everything that’s good in us. But why do I get so mad? why do I feel the burn of a thousand flames? I just want to scream, to dominate so that I’m not the one dominated. I hate the imposition of thought, I hate the idiotic men. But as I see him screaming and full of rage, I light up and do the same… What is the difference between me and that idiotic man? The man who has no mind, that works like clocks, that is predictable and weak, what is the difference if I can’t act differently? I need to be stronger, I need to surpass this adolescent phase, I need to ascend to far better control.

My mind is weak I must make it strong, I need to leave this people behind, there is no hope for them, I tried, they do not understand, they go round and round like broken worlds around a dying sun. They’re dust, they don’t create, they clog and brake, they are the past. I need to be better for the future. I need to see my children happy, I want to give them smiles and not fights, I want them to need me not to demand their love. I want their faces to light up when they see me, they are part of me, how can I do them harm? There is no meaning in the world, we need something to live for, if we don’t live even for ourselves, what is the point? we must evolve, we must be able to think to reason, to just throw ad hominems like dogs barking at each other, I am so sad and mad…

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